Deathbed Lists

I’m reading a book called “Second Innocence”, that helps us regain that sense of wonder and joy that we experienced as a child. One passage describes how, when people get diagnosed with an illness, they think of all the things they wished they had done. If I was sitting in a hospital bed tomorrow and reflecting on the life I wished I had led, what would my answers be to these questions?

What do you regret not doing because of fear?
Having a wife and two kids. I’m afraid of losing my freedom to do what I want. If I had a wife and two kids, my response would have been to stay single, explore writing, and live in a condo in downtown Minneapolis.

What do you wish you had put more time and energy into?
My relationships with friends, family, and significant others.

What do you wish you had put a lot less time and energy into?
Work. I throw all of my energy and focus into work, and I know when I retire or quit, it’s like, “What was it all for?”

What was always on your someday list that you now wish you had done?
Learning to play guitar or piano. Joining a writers group at the Loft. Going camping and fishing. Buying a boat and a motorcycle. Own a small tea shop.

As you think about your daily experience of life, what qualities do you wish there were more of and what qualities do you wish there were less of (more time for self, more community, more kindness. . .)?
More quiet time, more calm, more laughter, more energy, more reading. Less chores, less worrying, less self-criticism, less tv.

What is your deepest regret in terms of the type of person you never became (a kind person, a generous person, a courageous person…)?
A self-confident person, a self-disciplined person, a more honest person (in terms of I say and do what people want from me, rather than what I really feel).

If I had more time or energy, I would love to learn to . . .
play guitar or piano, other languages, cooking and baking, lucid dreaming, meditation.