OK Computer

Computers annoy me because they ask so many questions. Weren’t they created to give answers? “Do you want to continue checking spelling from the beginning of the document?” “Do you want to save the changes to the document?” “Do you want to check for updates?” “Do you want to restart your computer now?” And computers seem to get a certain satisfaction from pointing out our mistakes. It’s like having your mother hovering over your shoulder and underlining every misspelled word in squiggly red lines, or questioning your use of the present participle with a squiggly green line.

Somehow the computer connotes a nagging, almost impatient, tone in pop up windows declaring “You cannot open a version 6.0 document while running 5.6”, or “Are you sure you want to log off? Other users are logged on and you’re going to make them lose their work”. I expect any day now to see the message “You are nearly forty, shouldn’t you have children by now?” or “Your t-shirt pit stains are disgusting. A new package of Hanes Premium T-Shirts has been automatically purchased from target.com. You should receive the shipment in five to seven days.”

You have reached the end of this blog entry. Do you want to navigate away from this page? Some of the content is not secured, do you want to open this page anyway? Attachments can contain dangerous viruses, are you sure you want to open it? If not, then press the button “No, I’m scairt”, otherwise, choose “Yes, just open the F#%@ng attachment!”