Lie #2: Identity Chip

RFID implants in hands
photo by ishmell.

Lie #2, invented as an answer for other vacationers in Puerto Vallarta curious about why I’m traveling alone: “Actually, I’m working for Lu___t Technology in a think tank about twenty miles between here and Guadalajara. I’m in the R&D department, and we’re working on a cutting edge new technology, but it’s highly classified, I shouldn’t be talking about it.”

They buy me my first drink.

“Well actually the classified part is more on how the technology works and the materials we use, rather than the concept. We’re working on an Identity Chip, which is a tiny chip placed under the skin on your wrist. This is prototype 4A…” I show them a tiny gray rectangle viewable just beneath the skin on my wrist, actually the lead tip from a #2 pencil stuck in me since the 5th grade. “It can store your driver’s license, your credit cards. So when you’re in a store, you just scan your wrist and your items are paid for. No signatures, no losing your card…Yeah, you’re absolutely right. The fear of having your personal information stolen or forged is our biggest hurdle with this product. That’s really where the majority of research is being done right now: how to secure your information, and control who gets what information. But that’s also the details I can’t talk about.”

They buy me my second drink.

“The chip interacts with your body’s unique chemical make-up, so if it detects a foreign chemical makeup, the chip is disabled. And it’s that biological link that interests me. We’re working on having it tell you when you have a fever, when your body is fighting a virus, possibly even test your cholesterol. It will store your complete medical and dental record. Another concept that’s generating a lot of interest is similar to Bluetooth. You can set up your own profile in your identity chip, with your interests, where you’re from, if you’re single and looking, even your picture, so when you walk into a bar with a receiver, it will tell you who else is in the bar, ‘Oh look, someone else here is from Minnesota, or there’s a Packer fan, let’s buy him some Cheese curds, or there’s a single woman who’s favorite movie is “The Cable Guy” just like me. When do we think this product is going to hit the market? I can’t talk about that.’

They buy me my third and last drink.

“We’re in a race with our sister think tanks in Paris and Sunnyvale California, all working on different aspects of the Identity Chip. The codename for our think tank is ‘Tortilla Chips’. The one in Paris is ‘French Fry’ (they don’t have chips there), and the one in California is ‘Highway Patrol’. I know, it kind of evolved into that. It started out as CHiPs, like the TV show with the motorcycles. Then we just called them ‘Motorcycle Boys’ because all the guys rode motorcycles to work to be like Pancho. Then a woman joined their team, so it was ‘Motorcycle Boys and a Girl’. Then another woman joined and it just became ‘Highway Patrol’.

“Well I better head on out. It’s been fun. Please don’t share this information with anyone.” They take one more look at the piece of lead in my wrist. “Yeah, technology just keeps getting smaller and smaller. Thanks for the drinks. Please please keep this information to yourselves, and Buenos Noches.”